Duuuuuuuude...

 I worked on Saturday Night Live during the 1994-95 season. I was one step above intern as an NBC Page - still verrrry low on the ladder. A lot of cast member treated me as such. I was pretty invisible to many of them.

But not Chris Farley! He always screamed, "My favorite Page!!!!!" I had a sneaking suspicion that he said that to everyone, but it still made me smile and feel special. 

Everyone at SNL smoked. I mean EVERYONE. Even the mice in the walls at 30 Rock smoked. That wasn't really their choice, but still.

It was a social thing. There was a specific staircase where everyone gathered to smoke and cat.

Everyone except me. I hate cigarette smoke. It makes me sick. Plus, I'm a singer and I hate what it does to my throat. It honestly cost me, not being able (or willing) to hang out with the smokers and shoot the shit.

I had never smoked. Not once. Not ever.

That drove Farley INSANE!!!

He just couldn't wrap his mind around someone who had NEVER took even one little puff.

There were wrap parties after every live show. I rarely went. But there was also a season-end wrap party that even my stubborn introverted ass couldn't resist. 

In the spring of 1995, that wrap party was held where the ice rink is at Rockefeller Center. During the summer, it's a restaurant, so SNL rented it out and had their bash.

I was enjoying myself, when Farley came up to me to chat. We were in the middle of talking about my next Page assignment, when Norm MacDonald came up behind me.

I don't think they could get away with this today. Cancel culture would get them, because this would definitely have been caught on a camera phone. But neither of those things existed, and "Me Too" hadn't happened, and television was a place where women weren't treated with too much respect.

I'm NOT saying they were being mean. They were having fun, and meant no ill will. I wasn't angry.

HOWEVER...

When Norm came up behind me, he wrapped his arms around me, trapping my arms down to my sides. Chris was laughing his head off, and took the ciggy out of his mouth, popped into mine, and plugged my nose. I had no choice but to inhale.

They let go as soon as I did, and while I saw the humor, I did not feel good.

So, I promptly threw up all over Chris Farley.

I thought my television career was over, but he just grinned in that Chris Farley way and said, "Yeah. I deserved that."